I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BIPOLAR IN 2000, AFTER MY FIRST REAL DRAMATIC EXPERIENCE, I WAS 45 THEN. I'M STILL NOT SURE IF HAVE TRUE BIPOLAR DISORDER. I USED TO DO DRUGS, A LOT. SOMETIMES I THINK THAT I USED THE DRUGS TO FEEL NORMAL. AFTER 8 YEARS I'M STILL NOT SURE. THE PSYCS SAY I'M BALANCED WITH THE MEDS I TAKE, BUT MOST TIME I JUST FEEL BLAH..................JUST THERE. ON THE OUTSIDE I APPEAR A VERY HAPPY PERSON, BUT ON THE INSIDE I KNOW I'M NOT.
I STOPPED SEEING A PSYC ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO WHEN I MOVED. I JUST GET MY MEDS FROM MY GENERAL MD. BUT I THINK I DO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, EVEN THOUGH WHEN I DID GO I DON'T THINK I WAS TRULY HONEST WITH THEM, OR MYSELF. I AM SO CONFUSED. I RECENTLY HAVE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE BLOGGING WORLD AND AM FEELING THE NEED TO SHARE. I SEE THAT THERE A SO MANY OUT THERE WHO FEEL THE WAY I DO OR WORSE!
I ALSO SEE THAT ANXIETY RUNS IN MY FAMILY, MY MOM, A DEAR NEICE, MY SISTER. ITS FUNNY THAT IT'S ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE THE FEMALE IN OUR FAMILY THAT SOME SORT OF DISORDER HITS. EVEN A GREAT, GREAT AUNT WAS HOSPITALIZED FOR LIFE FOR BEING 'CRAZY' IN THE EARLY YEARS BEFORE THEY KNEW WHAT DISORDERS WERE.
I THINK THIS IS MY POST FOR THE DAY....MY FIRST REAL POST. CAN ANYONE HELP? GIVE ME A CLUE...................OR JUST LISTEN.....THANKS
Friday, August 29, 2008
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